‘Fabletics’ gifts Veterans Day discount on yoga pants, but only for men


Ah Veterans Day, the day where the masses pay homage to the sacrifice of American service members by way of free breakfast, half-off appetizers, discounts, oil changes, and oil massages. It’s the one time of year you, as a veteran, can throw caution to the wind.

Treat yo’self.

While most choose to spend this day gorging on free food, Fabletics, the workout gear retailer launched by actress Kate Hudson, was betting that veterans would use their hard-earned money on yoga pants — but only applied the deal to those with the XY chromosome.

That’s right. Fabletics offered a 15 percent discount applicable only to male veterans, who we all know live and breathe for the fresh feel of a brand new pair of ass-sculpting yoga pants.

Apparently the marketing team at Fabletics believes it to be 1947. You know, the year before President Truman signed the Women’s Armed Services Integration Act into law.

Lisa Smith, an Air Force veteran, contacted the customer service chat function on the Fabletics website for clarification on the inexplicable deal. Instead, she was met with the underwhelming response that the “promo is only for men.”

When @Fabletics (a female centric company) only offers military discounts to MEN. Shame on you @Kate_Hudson and your company.

There are 2 million female living veterans in America. pic.twitter.com/bepgeAwYCK

— Lisa Smith (@LisaSmithArvada) November 12, 2020

“Dana,” the Fabletics rep, followed up with a note saying, “Yes I know it’s a big problem. I’m noting this concern of yours so that they will know not only men serve in the military.”

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Fascinating. Shame on us for believing women in uniform was common knowledge in the year of our lord 2020. To erase any doubt, I checked in with Marine Corps veteran and Observation Post editor J.D. Simkins.

SS: First off, as both a veteran and a man, what’s your general stance on yoga pants?

JDS: As a fan of comfort, I’m fully supportive of anyone’s decision to wear them. However, I can say with certainty I’ve never purchased a pair for myself due to my perpetually inadequate leg build. It’s become obvious to me at this point in my life that no matter how many leg days I incorporate, I’m doomed to wander this planet with mediocre legs.

SS: There are a lot of camouflage options out there. Is there a pair that tickles your fancy?

JDS: I don’t think I want anything to tickle my fancy, but if I had to choose, I’d go with whatever best blends my stature into the surrounding environment.

SS: Do you think all demographics support the idea that women veterans would want 15 percent off yoga pants?

JDS: It’s honestly incredible how botched this promotion was. Did they intentionally set it up that way because they knew men would be the last to purchase them? Therefore, the company loses no money while still get a vet-friendly label. It’s like a butcher shop offering a discount on meats, but only to members of PETA. Up the discount to 30 percent for women, apologize, and call it day.

SS: Moreover, do female vets even like discounts, or is it just men?

JDS: I don’t want to be friends with anyone who doesn’t like a good discount.

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